day one of year two semester one~

as expected, prof. neil murphy thwarted all my expectations.

but I'm quite glad the school buddies felt about the same about the first lecture back in Ntu.

after three months, things feel just a little different. just a slight difference. the people look about the same, the cliques remain similar, the lecture theatres stay the original way. I guess we adapted back to it quite quickly this time round.

I started off the lecture brimming with hope as the prof. told us to throw aside all our literary theories and just take this course of contemporary lit. as a vacation from all the theories. I was just elated and completely resonated with what he said about a particular quote about how we should and we are just getting back to the texts. and when the prof. said that we are just going to discuss how we feel about the text, and how it's all going to be sharings of our own opinions, I felt that there was this renewed spark of passion in me.

but as the lecture went on and as the prof. went on to explain more about the course, the flame sizzled out. like about 99%.

I was just telling sharon and yiwen how I felt befuddled after the whole lecture ended. I thought at first we were all going to abandon the literary theories, the complicated and extreme "nonsense"(it's just my POV) of literary theories. and yet somehow I felt that the POV that contemporary lit. and of post-modernism is just one big theory on its' own. and really, I honestly think that I will not be using much of this analysis method outside of the classroom.

oh well, I told Him I want to work hard and well this semester, so yes, I will put in effort to try to do that. and I believe He will help me.

sometimes I just wonder, do all these lit. professors live their lives in accordance to what they teach in their classrooms and whether or not they are truly blessed by their own teachings. do their deep thoughts and theories really help them to live life better and fuller?

somehow, I know that even if they think so, even if others think so, I can't quite believe it. to me, it's too much and yet too little. all the questions, but never the answers. all the illusions and the searching and questioning of truth, but even when the truth faces them straight in their faces, they will reject it or worse, fail to recognise it.

well, that's lit. for me, it gets me all serious. haha. but at the end of the day, I just want to enjoy reading my books and perhaps have a great time sharing and listening to the different opinions of the books. I want to study lit. with a smile on my face, with passion and joy in my heart, with peace in my mind. that's what I hope to achieve in my stint at Ntu.

what about you?