for You~

So officially, I'm rededicating this blog and in retrospect, my life back to You.

Change my heart O Lord; transform my life.

All to You Jesus, all to You.

I Believe You are more than enough for me,

I Believe You are all I need

I want to live my life completely for You.

Off with the old self!

okay, I'm speaking from a totally worldly POV here.

with no other meaning intended,

literature isn't really what we think it is. I think all of us who have studied lit have our own different ideals and expectations of lit and how it affects and moulds us.

and recently, I realise that I find no contentment in lit. reading books is still fun to me, but I think I have taken too much pride in it. I've been seeking to produce good pieces of writing that I will be satisfied with, to the point where the passion I've craved for writng is warped now. I type because I want it to be read. I see things the way I want to express to others.

perhaps being exposed to lit in the way schools handle the subject is pushing me to seek another way of life.

Yes. Someday, let's meet at Wimbledon.

unexpectedly for me, the second goodbye was harder to say.

I'll see you again.

I'm still quite amazed at how a comic book can stir up such feelings within me. and especially a japanese manga book written in chinese at that. I think I just have a soft spot for teams. whenever I read or hear about close friendships forged between team-mates, I just feel very touched and inspired.

the way the characters reach out to one another and how they would support each other and have the "牺牲小我, 成全大我" mentality. the warmth and closeness displayed for just them to see. the almost perfect understanding they have of each other's strengths and weaknesses. and I always end up smiling when one of them says to another, "You've done well, take a break. I'll take care of the rest from now." and "I'll keep picking up. so take your time to figure out how to get through."

okay, this makes more sense when applied to a tennis game. but don't you think it fits completely into life as well? grace was just telling me how friends can build up the 默契 between them. it's the example of how even when your friend's mouth is full or when she's on the phone and she mumbles somewhat incoherently or signals to you with her hands, somehow somehow, you can just understand what she is saying to you. I just suddenly remember how obe taught me the hand signal for tissue: using your fingers to draw a box-like shape in front of you. =)haha

and it's always amazing when we get the "coded" message no?this special connection between friends. I just love typing and seeing the chinese words in my posts. even though it take me 101 times to do the trial and error method before I can get all the correct chinese words I want from the internet.

one last thing before I prepare to leave to go to the airport.

the smiles we will always have for one another. I'm not sure if any of you noticed it, I've only just realised it, our smiles to different people, even friends, are always a little different from one person to another. and I've always liked the moments when you've just heard or seen something amusing, and you turn to smirk or grin at your friend. she catches it, and the two or three or four of you just end up bursting into laughter.

and actually, speaking about the airport, it struck me that the hardest word to say isn't really "sorry" or "goodbye". the hardest words to say for me are actually, "I'll see you again." it holds within it a promise. and for me, promises have always been difficult to keep. but somehow along the years, it's been made easier, and it's quite a joy fulfilling those promises. alright. if I don't make a move now, I'll prob. be late. I hope grace is bringing the feb 29 bag as her hand-carry.:)

So people, I'll see you again. Soon.

SPORTS Day.

I snoozed for at least twice this morning before dragging myself out of bed to head to toa payoh for breakfast with the girls. I thought I would make it on time...and ended up being late for 15 mins. I was just preparing to say that "I didn't know that bus 88 takes so long to come to toa payoh" when I saw just sharon standing there. haha. and twenty seconds later, grace appeared. another twenty seconds and a phone call later, carol appeared at the entrance of the mrt station and waved at us.

we wanted to have wanton noodles for breakfast, but ended up having bee hoon and hum ching peng. I think it turned up better than expected though. it was quite an experience sitting at the nice hawker centre, eating, drinking tea and watching Miss Universe 2008 Live. so thanks carol for the tour of toa payoh and for the special singaporean breakfast=)

then we went swinging! haha. at the kids' playground.

it was really good just talking to one another and just catching up. even though I was poked and smacked for half of the time, I am really glad for today. so THANK YOU carol, sharon and grace!;)

and partner,

even though it took you 30 mins and a confrontation from me before you realised that I was your tennis partner, I still appreciate the game(s) we played. I just have one last qn, and I'm smirking as I type this: that scene where both you and me dived for the ball, who did you think you were?haha. though we were thrashed at the last game, our starting game was quite spectacular(especially when we have three people playing doubles). and it was good seeing federer and roddick on the same side of the court playing tennis. not to mention, your brilliant smashes at the net. and the terrific dives and poses we both had.

the spontaneous badminton game and ranch rush were great too. we'll definitely have a proper game of tennis and badminton in december!

it feels a little awkward blogging after so long. and I took 2 hours to get all these words down. it's difficult concentrating on this. haha. but oh well, I'll just post this up anyway.

alrightey. that's it.

the girlfriends are back indeed.