How do you hold on to someone you've never met?

- The Lake House.

I realised, again, that the higher your expectations, the higher the chance of you getting disappointed.

forgive me, but I feel like being in one of my sentimental and emotional moods this time round.

I feel guilty really. I feel very confused with what I feel. Sometimes, I'm not even sure whether the feelings are real, or just made-up. Made-up because I want to feel something. I have little idea of what that something is.

Sometimes, when things are wrapped up prettily, it is then that they are at their best. When you tear away the wrapping paper, that is when you realise that really, you don't really get what you want. Even if that something is something you may happen to like, but as long as it is not what you have expected, it will fail you. Right now, I wish I had never opened the present. That way, at least I could have kept it in its' best form, holding the perfect possibility.

How do you let go of feelings you yourself are not quite sure are real?How do you avoid thoughts you think are wrong even as they make you smile?How do you pretend that it's all a farce, that it has nothing to do with you, when actually, you think it has everything to do with you?It's funny how just a little interest can bring someone who used to be in the background into the very centre of attention. It's funny how things can be made to seem as though they are connected, that as if, fate or destiny really has a part to play. It's funny how, if one really puts one's mind to it, even the impossible can be thought to be seemingly possible. That whatever is not there, can be made seemingly real.

It can get quite scary at times. I get frightened at times. But I know, even as I type this entry out..by the time I prepare to go to sleep, and by the time I wake up to a new morning tomorrow, all these thoughts will be almost gone. Not completely erased, but the majority will be gone. For I've decided a while back, that I want something real. Real, and not make-believe. I want something of my own. My story to tell, my feelings to give.

The feelings will linger, it does take some time for them to fade, but hopefully, soon, my eyes will start to clear, and I will see things the way they ought to be seen. That I will no longer say things to mean other things, that I will no longer imagine the inter-connectivity of events, conversations, happenings that are really not at all connected.

Maybe, just maybe, it is possible to let go of something you have never had.

And I guess, it is possible to hold on to someone you have never met.